How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
