Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
