We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
