At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
