Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
