oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
