so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
