operation harelip BJ is a go
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Congratulations! We have a period
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
