Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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