idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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