Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
