I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
