Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
