I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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