I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
