hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
