Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
