I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
