The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
