I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
