just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
