respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
