he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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