So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i love accidental penises.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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