My room smells like vodka and shame
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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