Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
