Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
