You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
