can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I enjoy the company of your penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
