i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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