Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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