dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Randomize
