Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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