question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Still dying that you shit outside
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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