i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
