fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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