He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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