He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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