And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Green mimosas i think yes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
