i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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