Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
