We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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