This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
