He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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