Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
a search helicopter?!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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