Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
