Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's the barista slut.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
