i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
