i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
