I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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