Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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