are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
