We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize