I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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