Dual....:-)
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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