I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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