the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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