I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
