To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
